ce soir, je suis courru de chez toi jusqu'a chez moi parce que l'aventure est souvent mieux a vitesse... peut-etre pas... je ne veux rien raté! i spend so much time travelling that movement has become my life and the photos i take have become blurred but the slow quiet moments in between are often what make my life special - maybe i run the distances to make sure i remember the important bits in between?
i write this, after having missed my friend's band, tattoo noise act, for the fourth time... i really want to see them because i don't understand them but i haven't been able to make a gig of theirs yet! they offer a show, the likes of which i have never come across, and i'm intregued! the next time they play, i shall be there... armed with earplugs and an open mind!!!
where, in the past, i thought that places, things, what i have to offer (and, sure, i've always been delightfully aware of importance of the people) were what would mould my life, i now feel that its the moments i share and what i create together with those people that help me grow.
over the past few years and still, i have been working with so many people that ego is not even an option anymore... i mean, i'm proud of what i do and at any given opportunity, am willing to share what i consider my art. but i also enjoy listening, seeing, touching, smelling and tasting what people around me have to offer - and try, as best i can, to appreciate it or at the very least understand it, even when i don't enjoy it - if someone feels something is worth presenting, then it has some merit (be it artistic or intellectual) and from that, i want to learn!
i got very used to working alone... constantly questioning myself, i tried to grow. but on looking back, it was only really during the happy gang times that i began to spread myself out beyond my ego; that i really began to learn and find new ideas - i became more open to them!
there are certain people with whom i work where our roles are blurred... i really like this, sometimes i feel like the teacher, and sometimes the student - we share ideas and opinions... i try to take care not to impose myself upon their domain, as i work with them through respect for what they have to offer, and hope that they take something similar from me!
with nico (tchiktchak.be - who makes most of my posters, inlays and other design work) and kevin (www.vimeo.com/user1442416) or steve (www.youtube.com/user/SteveMogerley, www.ArbtusYarns.com) (both of whom i am currently working on video work), i try to let them form and explain their ideas and interfere as little as possible, but i have so many ideas myself - theirs are just better, but at the same time complementry to my work... they see through different eyes!
with ben (longtime musical partner - www.heronstheband.com), marcus wuest (producer) or the italian weather ladies (the band that enhance my music, where ben also lives - www.floatinghome.org), i often find it very hard not to impose myself - as music (composition, arangement, production) is what i have been occupying my time with while locked away alone in my room for the past 10 years - to open this door and invite people in was wierd and daunting- i still hold on dearly to some of my work and don't allow anyone in, but for the most part i have loosened up!!!
with others (herons!, wallis bird, jinx lennon, jenny lindfors, kevin ryan,...), i have a very well-defined role, and i find these projects a nice breath of fresh air. while my opinion is generally respected and often taken on-board, having the decision-making removed from me allows me to just throw ideas out there, see what happens and really enjoy my part in the overall picture - i find this necessary to keep my own ideas and projects fresh... i learn, share and borrow so much from these people!
then, i sometimes feel guilty when i work with people to whom i have nothing in return to offer - i want to be able at least to pay these people, but i often can't even afford to do that. i hope in the future to be able to revisit this. most of these people are the musicians on my albums (the biatch dudes, christophe capewell, margaret healy,...) but then others (like marcus, peter and liz) are just so helpful and knowledgable that i barely even need to ask them a question and its been answered...
finally, there's everyone else: family, friends, among who i am lucky to count all of the above... antoine, oli, francois and joachim,... who i never even have to ask and they are there to hold a camera, or lend a microphone... or whatever, i just hope i can help all of these people in return someday. there are so many genuinely good people in my life that i don't like to do "thank-you" lists on my albums! i'd either run out of paper or leave a bunch of people out!
bref, these past few years have been good and interesting times, filled with good and interesting people and expierences - i feel that its all only the beginning but it moves so fast! some of these friends and collegues are no longer among us but i am honoured to have shared some of their life.