WORDS by aidan, "the sitter"
:: 15.08.2011 ::
... the sights... to my left, in the middle of the studio is stood an easel with a large blank page upon it... to my right, a bright window, split into smaller squares with two segments open, allowing in the summer evening slowly changing colour outside; by the window, a spider plant pushing out of its pot is sat beside a wooden box, bubbling over with different shades and sizes of charcoal and puttyrubber; at my right knee is a long coffee table, slightly chaotic with jasmine tea, bread & hummous, my notebook, pencil and a pair of cameras:: 15.08.2011 ::
... the sounds... a baby crying; another laughing; music in the distance - "is that live?" asks dave; birds singing over the rooftops; billie holiday on the radio; a conversation between a fashion designer and a jewlery designer in the next room; charcoal on wood, like chalk on a blackboard; my breathing... it's peaceful here in this yard, hidden in the heart of kreuzberg!
our afternoon began slowly, sitting on the rooftop with tea, looking out over berlin - sun warming our heads as the clouds rolled around the horizon... chatting about friends, adventures and the breeze...
sitting by the window, in the studio now, making more tea - there's three good infusions on these leaves - dave moves the canvas around...
closer...
closer...
closer
"does it bother you, me being this close?"
"not at all!" i quite like it actually - i've never been drawn like this before - it feels nice...
walking around the room, he runs at the paper - no sound...
walks back, comes at me, then the paper again - no sound...
he stills, slowly scratching the first marks...
walks backwards again...
"i'm having difficulty finding you!"
... slowly back to the paper
... i let my mind wander...
... the paintings... stacked against the walls... a canvas, awash with blue, with a figure holding balloons; three heads, like an over-exposed sepia print - a close-up at a party; boys playing at the edge of a pond, one reaching in; now rachels plays on the radio; a room, a familiar room, like the lobby in the old DDR media building on nalepastr...
dave, standing above me, close; left arm bent slightly forward with putty and charcoals; right arm poised to scar the page - each time with a line or an arch or a blotch that goes a step further toward defining me; takes three steps back, head cocked; looks down his face at the canvas; makes a motion in the air; lunges forward, coming to rest with his right foot resting on the easel; scars the page with the same motion;
eyes darting to my version of me;
to his version in progress;
reading me intensly and scribing his findings to the blank parts of the page...
dogs at a junction - five dogs, then i see only four, then three, then two, then one, as i find my point, one eye higher than the other - head of a terrier, a brown blotch over his left ear, the scar from where the ear was before, perhaps?, the beginning branches of a tree in the sky - a hint to why the shadows are as they are! - a work in progress - running? walking? his right leg like human, but perfectly dog, stray lines, like seams yet to be covered over - perfectly imperfect, mysterious light by his front left leg, he's nearly left the painting; top three floors of a building afloat, waiting to find their link to the land, waiting to land...
... i let my mind wander...
an edible euro with a bite taken out of it on a white portion of wall, fashion designer with strong hands and pretty face walks back and forth with cuts of material...
dave's markings get stronger...
he walks back, cocks his head and sees something...
walks faster to the page, eyes dart back and forth from me to paper to me to paper, from me to the image of me forming...
he stands back, pauses
... i let my mind wander...
like the tides, his wanderings and strokes grow more intense, faster and stronger, he moves! dancing - it's beautiful to watch...
"i'm really enjoying this" he says as he slows down and the intensity subsides,
"it's you!"
and it is... splashes of colour - just enough to balance the darkness in the eyes - a darkness that i wasn't feeling today, but he recognised anyway - i've seen me look exactly like this in concert shots, when i allow my innermost come out and play - he saw through my good mood!
"you have so much expression in your face - it changes so much", he says,
"i thought i was being relatively blank, it must change with the music!"
dave lies down on the couch by the window, as the sun sets through the potted plants outside... he stands up, turns the easel to face him, lies back down and after a few seconds, announces
"i like it"
"me too", i add... "it's me!"
www.davidhedderman.com
> the sitters
> aidan
will be hanging in rha, dublin between 27th may and 09th august, 2014.
